Originally Written in 2009

Shutting out the sky
You close your eyes.
The clouds are fleeting
Their impermanence is unsettling.
You don’t wish to be disappointed
So why become attached to such things?
You’ve never really loved
Or maybe you find a different meaning in the word.

I’m sitting a few feet away from you
writing in a little worn notebook.
I’m sorry I lied when I said this was just an essay for school.
Watching you from the corner of my eye
I’m waiting for you to say something.
You’ve been rather quiet during our last few meetings.

I know what he did to you
So I can understand your silence.
Life can bring one such terrible pain
Yet it also yields precious bliss such as that which I now feel.
You probably think it’s horrible
That right now as such awful memories plague your thoughts
I’m sort of enjoying this.

You see, it is these short-lived moments that we yearn for the most
Reflecting on them in the midst of present difficulties.
I can’t change the fact that those scars will stay with you forever
And I know that my time with you will be brief.
But to live in constant self-pity is to miss life’s little indulgences.

It’s not hedonistic to enjoy the impermanent
But rather proof that you are really living.
Open your eyes, forget the past for a minute
And enjoy these things.

Take comfort in the warmth of the sun upon your skin
Gaze in wonder at the clouds
Traces of a recent rain, building blocks of a storm to come.
Yet right now they form such charming shapes as they play across the horizon.

Remember that though one person may hurt you beyond words
There will always be another willing to enjoy a moment of silence with you.